Hosted and Edited by that well-loved star from the cult 80s vampire film, ‘The Munchies’ – Jools Vicker, the Spider from Saturn. The Spider from Saturn shuffled onto the park bench, and lit a cigarette, holding it between his pedipalps. He squatted on all thirteen of his legs, and began. ‘“Life without pain has no

by Lara Schembri “This is the night…in which all the horses…are sickly white.” The voice was placid and flat like dead calm in open water, though the context led one to hear an imaginary satisfaction in the tone, a hint of cackling. It didn’t fall out of an open maw, it floated inside a sealed,

It was cold, it was dark, and it was humid. Another unbearable winter morning on this godforsaken island. Moments like these made me question my choice to relocate here. What the hell had I been thinking? Sexy women in bikinis, long summer nights, drinking fancy cocktails with the umbrellas in them… It was good while

Fredrick arrives ten minutes earlier than expected, and I put my hands in my pockets to hide their nervous tremor. Tonight is probably the most important evening of my career. If anything goes amiss, I’ll be humiliated. Fredrick smiles warmly and hugs me. “Damian. It’s good to see you again.” “How was Algeria?” “Fantastic.” He

They lowered the corpse onto the dinner table with more care than Vermillion thought necessary, and he was regaled with a foreshortened view, feet first, of the shabbily clothed test subject. Its nostrils felt noxious to him. They seemed, in a vile way, to be pricking at his conscience. One of the men handed Vermillion

Tip-tap, tip-tap, goes leather sole on cobblestones. He must hurry, he has one last errand to run tonight, and a steamer to catch in the morning. Still, he is calm, and careful, he threads his path across this city with the precision of a dance. Every action is meticulous – years ago, he had planned

The girl in the garden has just lost a child and has realised, for the first time, how red blood is on a clean white dress. The bundle lies face down in deep grass with limbs splayed like a swastika. The girl has a long face and long eyelashes and she is crying. She closes

The question had been rhetorical, thrown into space by boredom from lips that seldom idled with such insignificances. The answer was known to every person in the kingdom, would certainly be known by erudites down the ages, yet it was not the one the empty room provided. Had it come from any other source, he

It’s already a week into August, and the heat and humidity just keep getting more and more unbearable, even at Schlock Magazine towers. So it was figured that the best way to cool down would be… no, not the beach, but obviously the cold vacuum of space! Welcome to the Schlock – the Space-pulp issue.