Alas. The vitriol-imbibed, sarcasm-oozing columnist has been missing in action since Christmas Eve. The grapevine insists that he is buried underneath a colossal pile of turkey left-overs, grilled fish, octopus in garlic sauce, goose, pudding, Christmas log, rhubarb, qassatat, the occasional slice of pizza and a menu that tells it not as it is. We [...]
Read Part 1 Read Part 2 Read Part 3 Read Part 4 The room disappeared and Joey screamed. *** He opened his eyes. The room was gone. He stood in the middle of a small clearing. Lush tropic jungle surrounded him. The air smelt strange. It smelt heavy and thick and slightly acrid. “Here we [...]
Part 1 here Paulie the Potty-mouth wasn’t the most popular elf on his faction. In fact, one could describe him as infamous, only that would imply an effective handling of rudeness and danger and, save for a competence with routine assassinations, coupled with a colourful vocabulary, he offended few and scared very little. Not having [...]
“So what’s your… resolution for your New Year?” I ask Victor as he brews himself coffee. “It’s not even midnight yet,” he answers. “And even if, I wouldn’t tell you. Resolutions are a private, sacred thing.” I can read a smile on his face. “Actually, it’s due in a few station hours… care to join [...]
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It was midnight over the frosty fields, and in the tiny dip in the landscape, a cluster of crooked houses huddled together in the chill air as the starry night twinkled above. One house stood slightly apart, silhouetted on the slope of a steep hill, a single window lit up against the darkness. And [...]
Schlock would like to send its hearty thanks to all our readers this year – it has been fantastic and so have you, hopefully 2011 will be even better. In the meantime, enjoy some unconventional Christmas cheer (we wouldn’t want it any other way). [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqwmSlTU0sU&fs=1&hl=en_US]
Click here for part one! At Angelo’s plain request Old Tony laughed. He said that anyone could easily order a prison cake from the town liquor store. Angelo licked his lips while reaching into his back pocket , and, delicately, pulled out Michele’s photograph. All the time he continued to rub it between his thumb [...]
The first Christmas I remember clearly is the Year of the Big Box. I was maybe five or six or seven, it doesn’t really matter. I was young and I loved Christmas. The tree, the lights, all that festive peace-on-earth, love-your-neighbors stuff. Our lives were okay. Always had food on the table, warm clothes to [...]
Red Faction Elf #137 – or ‘Paulie the Potty-mouth’ as he was more commonly known – plummeted onto the surface of the island with a loud, conspicuous crash. After a brief reverie in which he dreamt of chocolate rivers, pretty, keen elf girls and other recruitment-poster imagery, his eyelids slowly ripped open to reveal a [...]
