Photo by Daniel Vella

“Heart of London, there is a moral in thy every stroke! as I look on at thy indomitable working, which neither death, nor press of life, nor grief, nor gladness out of doors will influence one jot, I seem to hear a voice within thee which sinks into my heart, bidding me, as I elbow my way among the crowd, have some thought for the meanest wretch that passes, and, being a man, to turn away with scorn and pride from none that bear the human shape.” – Charles Dickens, Master Humphrey’s Clock 

Part of Schlock’s Dickens bicentennial celebrations.

January 27th, 2012
Categories: Dickens Bicentennial . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: No Comments

Charles Dickens celebrates his 200th birthday this year.

In the run up to Charles Dickens’ bicentennial celebrations – the great Victorian author was born on February 7 – Schlock will join in the fun worldwide with a podcast focused on his work and more.

But in the meantime, we’ll be regaling you with a series of images recalling – however loosely – the multitudinous sprawl of Dickens’ classic novels and stories. Because love him or hate him, Dickens’ enduring tales of poverty and triumph, of injustice and goodness, remain a persistent influence on writers and artists even centuries after his death.

Our illustrations and photographers are already hard at work at some beautiful images – so be sure to keep an eye on the site, and your ears peeled for the podcast!

Remember to follow Schlock on Twitter and Facebook. Also, you may subscribe to our podcasts via iTunes!

January 27th, 2012
Categories: Dickens Bicentennial . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 1 Comment

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

An old year’s just ended, and a new one took its place – for now. Come the 21st of December, according to the Mayan calendar, the world will end in a mighty blaze or… something. Maybe (or rather, certainly) the talk about the forthcoming apocalypse is all just hogwash. Or publicity for our recent Apocalypse issue! Either way, our podcast returns on the very first week of the new year, with a selection of flash fiction and a couple of new additions – friend of Schlock Annette Bowman, who not only introduces this month’s podcast but also takes a look back at 2011, and Kurt Buttigieg, who makes music (some of which is in the podcast!) under the name Skullcakes.

Now get listening!

Readings

The Heart of Verona by Lara Schembri - 00:00:54

Megafauna by Marco Attard - 00:05:15

Breakfast in Dread by Bettina Borg Cardona - 00:09:01

Feature

Annette goes through 2011, a year certainly packed with all sorts of happenings; from revolutions and international scandals. It even brought around a pretty decent selection of treats of a pop-cultural nature. Agree/disagree? Let us know in the comments, will you? 00:12:15

Our thanks go to Annette for her aural contributions, Kurt for providing the music, Thom for help with recording the flashes and Marco for managing to put the podcast together, bit by tiny bit.

Musicians! We want your musics! Apply through this post or our email address.

Don’t forget you can subscribe to the Schlock podcast via iTunes,where you can also leave us nice review and rating over there. Actually, it’d be great if you do. Thanks for listening, and our dulcet tones will be back in, oh, a month or so. Until then, be kind, babies. Be kind. 

January 7th, 2012
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Copyright: Ellen Pace

With the Apocalypse on its way, Schlock has decided to celebrate our total annihilation in an issue of epic proportions. There’s stories, articles and poems, along with exceptional illustrations and photographs. The end may be nigh but it’s not all doom and gloom: amidst the wailing and gnashing of teeth, there’s a liberal dose of surreal farce – and the promise of redemption.

So stick with Schlock and we’ll be back (hopefully) with a debut, new concept issue next year. Enjoy!

(We will be publishing the PDF version later)

CONTENTS

The City is Landing by Kristine Ong Muslim, illustrated by various artists
Dreams of the End by Bettina Borg Cardona
To end, and end again by Teodor Reljic
Our Little Cult by Manuel Royal
On Killing Yourself by A. A. Garrison
The Truest Story of Jesse James by Ron Scheer
Literature in Zero Gravity by Julie Jansen
The Guardians of Armageddon by Joseph Farley
Pass the Can by Robert William Iveniuk
Not with a Bang, but a Squeaker by Thomas Pluck
The End by Peter Farrugia

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: No Comments

copyright: Marco Attard

Read more…

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 3 Comments

copyright: Bettina Borg Cardona

by Bettina Borg Cardona

Below is a sequence of dreams – perhaps ‘nightmares’ would be a more accurate term – of which I attempt to give here a detailed account, in an effort to describe them as they originally passed through the mind of the dreamer – in this case, my own.  One wonders whether it were possible to capture in words the fleeting images and impressions of which a dream is composed, and whether the conscious mind may truly ever give life to the multifaceted wonders of a dream’s rich contents. Yet, perhaps it is worth the enterprise, for, as a wise man once said “you need to write a dream down for the same reason you need to dream it”. I have no interest here in giving to the images a full narrative body, to shape them into any coherence. I am done for the moment with stories, and prefer instead to sink into the deep wells of my unconscious, to ponder its mysteries, and its horrors. Read more…

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 1 Comment

Copyright: Eleanor Leonne Bennett

by Teodor Reljic

Picturing the end of the world is far too tempting. Even if every fibre of your rational brain rails against the inherent morbidity in imagining the world – the entire world, your world – being blown to smithereens by natural-cum-celestial disaster, you just can’t help it, can you? Read more…

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 1 Comment

copyright: Mariza Dunham Gaspar

by Manuel Royal

In the overhead mirror, I watched my passengers nodding off. The gabble of conversations had been so constant for the last hour that I no longer noticed it; when it died down within a few minutes, my ears rang in the relative quiet and I could focus on my driving.

Humphrey Jessup slumped against the window, sound asleep. Becky Newton’s little blonde head was on Humphrey’s shoulder. They looked cute, snoring away together. Humphrey’s snore was a soft buzz; Becky’s surprisingly loud and deep.

Fourteen of the seventeen people on the bus thought we were going to Las Vegas for a seminar and gambling and some shows. The same fourteen people were all either asleep or yawning. Whatever Marcie had dosed the sweet tea with, it worked. Read more…

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 1 Comment

copyright: Daniela Attard

by A. A. Garrison

Killing myself was the last on my list of fears to conquer, after Get beat up by jerks. I took to this final fear immediately after leaving the ER, still wearing my PUNCH ME YOU ASS tee-shirt.

The other me took a long six months to manufacture; the world-class art career, decades. Constructed from state-of-the-art silicone molding, and viscera leftover from Hunt and slay a wild boar, my double was remarkably lifelike, indistinguishable from myself in all manners. The exhibition was simple but effective: After a still-life drama of my effigy’s struggles, when it seemed that he would take the coward’s way, I appeared onstage and used a set of increasingly dull spoons to “kill” him, to a soundtrack of Sinead O’Connor and other early-nineties classics. Entitled, simply, Kill Yourself, it was received to great applause and sterling reviews, hailed as a highlight of my career. When I went to cross it from my fear-list, however, I was unable: I was unworthy, a charlatan, and I knew this all too well.

Thus began my cloning operation. Read more…

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 1 Comment

copyright: Mariza Dunham Gaspar

by Ron Scheer

The town library at Prairie Creek fit into three old crates kept in a storage room where the school teacher lived. Virgil Case, the current teacher, used the books–or what was left of them–to teach reading. His young scholars cut their teeth on the likes of John Grisham, Louis L’Amour, and Reader’s Digest condensed books.

They also served for history texts, since Virgil had to explain words the kids didn’t understand. Like “martini,” “bushwhack,” and “World Series.” Read more…

December 5th, 2011
Categories: Apocalypse . Author: schlockmagazine . Comments: 4 Comments